Perhaps destiny doesn’t spare anyone. Even God will console you in sorrowful situations only saying, you cannot escape what has already been destined for you.
I decided to go for operation of my right eye for cataract, when it was time for getting it operated. I selected an eye doctor known to my sister (I had just come to Mumbai for a peaceful retired life and had not much knowledge about doctors etc.).
On the appointed day, though the operation was fixed for a Monday at 9.00 am, I told him that I would leave my house only after 9.00 am, so that the rahu kaalam, would be over by then. After the operation was over ( the whole process was over in one hour,
being a laser operation), the doctor proclaimed to my wife and son waiting outside the OT, everything is fine.
We returned to the house, followed all instructions, including a follow-up visit the next day to confirm everything was okay. The doctor confirmed OK. Since he had cleared me for morning walk after two days, I started my usual rounds in the colony. Since I had no idea as to how it would ‘look’ after the operation, it was too early for me to complain.
What I actually observed was that I was just seeing a round hole though that particular eye, as if the doctor had actually created a hole, so that I could see more than I had to see, or could actually see; or had he intended to provide me a hole through which I could see the so called viswarupa dharshanam which Yasjoda could see when Lord Krishna, as a boy, opened his mouth for her to see the entire world?
After four days, I concluded that something had gone wrong. I told my people, my relatives in the same building and they all advised to tell this to the doctor. The next day I rushed to the doctor full of fear. He saw me and my fears were confirmed. Yes, he said, the lens has not opened and such cases do happen, though only rarely. He volunteered to put another lens, after removing the one already there, though I won’t have to pay again. I thought I am in for trouble. A second opinion was taken from another doctor, who also repeated what my doctor had told (they are from same fraternity).
I decided to go for the second operation which was also performed by the doctor, who later announced the outcome as ‘fine’ – I have removed (point to be noted here) and put a new lens. From next day onwards I could really see, the vision was o.k.
A check up after a month was done. While he said that the vision was o.k.I also said there was something like a line appearing in the middle of the eye. Oh, nothing to worry he said,that could be a particle of the first lens and, at the same time, he repeatedly asked: no double vision? (again, point to be noted, why did he ask that).
Since something was always troubling me, I had to repeatedly go to him and check up.
After an year, when I went for a check up I had to tell him that I was seeing in the eye
another lens-like thing floating, a full round with two curved hooks at the sides. The doctor said, what you say is correct – you have ‘twins’. What? I asked. Two lenses, like twin babies? Yes, he confirmed. You know the trouble of some lucky, some unlucky women carrying twins. Their case is different, they will one day deliver both in whatever condition. But not so in my case. I can’t deliver, and that too deliver one ‘baby’ alone, keeping the other baby in tact within. I don’t think any delivery case might have happened that way. If at all, both will come out – may be one first, and the second ( all different if more than two) after a little while. Life is gone, I thought. What the hell this doctor has done, why did he bluff the first one has been already taken out ( in the papers he has actually written first IOL invisible (which we ourselves noticed much much later)Was it a deliberate mistake, is he so incompetent etc. etc. Or was he trying to promote a new scheme buy one get one free, the so-called 1 plus 1 lens offer? And, wanted to experiment this scheme on me?
Being soft natured, and may be tolerant, we attributed this entirely to our fate. God alone knows what all ways I suffer -eye becoming, hard, narrow, red, causing intense pain. After some five years, the doctor started giving me pain killer injection – even this had to be repeated for four five times. But the suffering is endless.
It is now over seven years within which time I had visited the doctor more than fifty times, tried nearly fifty odd drops, taken four or five injections, seen four or five retina specialists (the same one twice or thrice) – all because my doctor was feeling a deep sense of guilt in him) and who used to say let us get rid of this problem (or somehow get rid of me ) once for all.
The retina specialist’s standard reply to my question was always like this: it is not difficult, it is not easy; however at your age, I would advise you, as a father to his son, not to go for it; he must have thought that you,have blamed your eye doctor, and if at all you want to blame someone again, blame not me, blame yourself.
Well, this mukkannan mainthan’s (not three eyes, only three lenses!)’ I.e. this Subramaniam’s life is to go on perhaps like this, finding occasional solace through his bla bla writings.